Does Teaching Obedience Produce Self-Righteousness?

Self-righteousness is a thin camouflage of purity placed over a spoiled heart. And it is often laid lightly over the hearts of children. Kids operate on a scale based merit system—if their good outweighs their bad, or if their bad is not as bad as that of other kids, then they think they are okay. Whenever a child professes to be a Christian, I ask them how to get to heaven, and too often their response is: “Obey.” The right answer is: Repent and believe in Jesus Christ. When I prompt them further with leading questions, they are eventually able to say that you need to believe in Jesus. But that is not their default answer. Their default answer is more akin to justification by works than justification by faith. Given this tendency, should we tell kids to obey? Does emphasizing obedience suture to their hearts their wrongheaded inclination toward self-righteousness? 



The simple and self-evident answer to the question of whether or not to tell kids to obey is: Yes, teach them to obey, and teach them frequently. To not instruct and expect obedience of children would be just as dangerous to their eternal health and safety as giving them a loaded shotgun with the safety off and telling them to have fun. The few instructions the Bible gives directly to children are heavy on obedience. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6:1). Since this is the biblical emphasis when instructing kids, it ought to be ours as well. But how is this to be done without pushing kids down the hell-bound path of self-righteousness?

Paul continues in Ephesians 6 with helpful insights. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). The instructions to obey should be coming primarily from parents who know and trust the Lord. This will be an immediate and needed counterweight to the potential for pharisaic proclivities in kids. The instructions given by Christian parents are not to be man’s best guess at morality, but rather the “instruction of the Lord.” And these instructions, far from producing self-righteousness, expect heart-level obedience. The Christian home should not be filled with instructions like, “Don’t hit your brother.” The instruction of the Lord is: “Everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment…. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles…. Love your enemies” (Matt. 5:22, 41, 44). Obeying these instructions cannot be consistently faked. Christ’s commands eliminate the potential for that thin camouflage of purity to be placed over the child’s spoiled heart.

This approach banks on the wisdom of God’s commands and the reasons for God’s commands. Historically noted by Calvin and Augustine, God’s law has at least three purposes. First, truly teaching the ways of Christ to children will provide them a perfect mirror which reflects to them their own unrighteousness. They cannot keep the standards of God on their own. Upon realizing their incapacity and wickedness they may be humbled and flee to the merciful Savior who pardons their unrighteousness and cloaks them with His own. Second, instructing God’s commands will restrain some evil in children. A sinner with no law to keep knows no boundary for their evil. But the sinner with restraints placed upon their conscience may be restrained from bringing some harm on themselves and others. This is a mercy, though not a saving mercy. Calvin writes, “It is true, they are not on this account either better or more righteous in the sight of God.” Third, for those who have the Spirit of God in their hearts, the commands of God show the believing children what the will of their heavenly Father is that they may walk in a manner worthy of their calling. Yes, children should be taught to obey. And done properly, with the right instructions from the right source, it actually undermines self-righteousness. 

*This article originally appeared in the Eastridge Communicator, June 2014