A Whisperer Separates Close Friends

The tongue’s capacity for evil is disproportionate to its size. James says, “the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness.” (James 3:5) Solomon bluntly tells us, “Put away from you crooked speech” (Prov. 4:24). And Paul lists out sins of the tongue: deceit, maliciousness, gossip, and slander (Rom 1:29–30). A tongue can whip up a frenzy of evil in a variety of ways, but for our focus now, let’s consider gossip. In Proverbs, a gossip is called a “whisperer” (Prov. 26:22). The word elsewhere is used for grumbling or complaining, as in the case of the Israelites murmuring in their tents about going into the land of Canaan (Deut. 1:27). On a personal level, a gossip refers to someone “murmuring about another person behind their back rather than openly complaining about their behavior" (New International Dictionary of Old Testament Theology and Exegesis, 3:1053). The New Testament expands the idea of gossip to include people who are meddlesome. In addition to complaining behind someone’s back, gossips involve themselves in business that is not their own behind other people’s backs. Gossip is a problem that afflicts men and women, but in 1 Timothy, Paul addresses a group of women who “learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not” (5:13). It’s as if there was nothing better to do than to talk about other people’s business… perhaps at a prayer meeting. Gossip, then, can be grumbling about another person to others, or spreading information about others that is not yours to share.

Among the problems with gossip is that our fleshly nature loves it. “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body” (Prov. 18:8). We love gossip, but that doesn’t mean we should. The fact that certain conversations taste delicious to our fleshly nature ought to make us especially cautious of any talk that goes down smoothly.



Gossip is not just the sin of those who gossip, but those who listen to it. When David was pursued by Saul, he chastised Saul for listening to gossiping liars and slanderers: “Why do you listen to the words of men who say, ‘Behold, David seeks your harm’?” (1 Sam. 24:9). With no audience, gossip quickly dies. Gossip is destructive.

When grumbling happens behind someone’s back, and it is discovered, the pain is twice as bad as if the conversation had been had face to face between friends. With gossip, the circle of offense grows wide, and the opinions of one whisperer becomes the opinion of many. A true friend will address his or her friend to their face when there is an offense. “A whisperer separates close friends” (Prov. 16:28), but “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6).

Be on your guard, then, in your heart against grumbling against others or against needing to know about things that are none of your business. When words sound juicy to you, even in the form of a prayer request that goes beyond a sincere need or express desire of the one you are praying for, then be careful of what you are listening to.

The Christian life is not just the negative: what not to do, it is the positive: how you ought to live. The life in Christ is not gossipy, it is true. It is not meddlesome, but helpful, even in knowing when to mind your own business. It is prudent in the information you share and to whom you share it. It is to be edifying in everything you say. “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29).